Ah... the unusual reasons we cried

Have you ever weep? I rarely weep, but when I did, I usually wept like a baby. I wept like a baby whose candies been taken out by some bully when:

The day I was chosen as PermataBank Union Leader. The situation was pretty much "supportive" of that as so many of my fellow activists were being laid-off. Some for the true reason that they didn't perform well, some merely because they were outspoken (if not loud) of their opinion. I shouldn't have been crying, I should be angry instead.

The sick-sick-sicko King Joffrey beheaded Ned Stark in Game of Thrones' Baelor Episode. It was a rare moment on network television. TV usually tends to make viewers happy, to keep them interested. Yet, Game of Thrones manages to staple me to my seat to watch the rest of the scene till finished. I cried with  Arya Stark as we watch Ned Stark beheaded.

The skinny jeans is on trend since I knew I would never pull it off. I know it's been so long ago and yet it's still here and I'm still not over it. Aaarrhhhh!!!

I got my first running injury like 2.5 months ago. The injury still won't go away. I secretly wish that everyone would stop telling me to do Yoga and mind their own business. You don't know the half of it. You have no idea what I went through so don't act like you do and that Yoga is the answer to all problems. Enough with the Yoga Snobbery. I would do Yoga if my doctor asked me to (and by doctor I mean the ruggedly handsome physician I secretly had a crush on - won't tell). 

I watched A Walk to Remember. Yeah, I know it's a lame movie, but I have to admit on having a big rush on Mandy Moore at one time. Not in her pale state during the movie, but after the movie was released. I think she's hot.

The day Denny Duquette (Grey's Anatomy) died. I cried like a baby, I mean really cried. I am still crying. That episode was pretty much kill my interest in the series. Then Dr. Preston Burke walked out of Grey's Anatomy. He was the only reason I watched it in the first place.

There, I said it. 

Daily Talk Show at The Office

As target gets higher we tend to achieve higher. That is what expected of us, workers that are trying to make ends meet and companies that are thriving for growth. Thank goodness I am blessed with a hardworking - and sometimes when needed - a smart-working team. 

What we don't expect (and cannot stand) are office chatters. Sure, we all love to chat, a little gossip wouldn't hurt also. I sometimes chat with my team, just to relieve tension off work for about 5 minutes. The key is to prevent a work atmosphere that's unpleasant or oppressed. I consider chatting with my team as a morale builder. We usually chat around 10 am, near lunch break and near the end of office hour. Each usually lasted no longer than 10 minutes. 

Around the office, we usually chat after spending many hours sitting in our chairs, WORKING. But lately, the office chatters is just too noisy to bare. 

These chatter have a specific pattern. 

Arrived late at the office. 

Turn on the computer. 

Check their email for about 5 minutes while waiting for their confidante to arrive. 

Chat for about 2 hours and then supposedly "working".

Chat all the way through lunch time. 

Lunch. 

Chat some more till 2.30 pm. 

Say hello to the computer (working) for about 30 minutes.

Chat some more.

Go home earlier than anybody else.

Gee what a happy life they have.

My earphones are always very dependable as chatter-blocker, especially when he's in the next cube. He usually chat on the phone, not too loud actually. But very often his team would come to his desk, working together using his computer, or just to have a chat (surprise-surprise).These chatters always work together, i mean ALL THE TIME.  My team, we can't afford to work on all assignment TOGETHER. Plus, getting my team to complete my work in my computer would be like... WELL.... LIKE I HAVEN'T GOT THE SKILL NOR KNOWLEDGE TO DO MY JOB.  Aside from the noise thing, I mean: REALLY?

Okay, back to the noise thing. The chatter usually clutter next to my desk at my chatter coworker workstation. They can spend at least 4 hours daily sitting, talking and laughing next to my desk. I've had it up to here (my head) with them. I mean: FUCK-OFF.

The day I left my earphones at home is the day I curse and usually ends in me buying another pair of earphones. I now officially own 4 earphones, thank you. But how long can my ear tolerate loud volume, I'm not sure. So I initiate in escalating this to the boss without mentioning any name, wouldn't wanna be recognize as the office tattle-tale. As a result there was a rearrangement of office layout, my team move in with me and he moves out with his team (the other chatters). Now they can live chattily ever after.

My most major homework is my team, keeping their spirit up. Not giving them a chance to question our line of work. We have a lot in hand tasks, that are seem to expand more and more each day. While the chatter can refer to working as: we are very relaxed in our work here compared to our previous employee. Gee that's good. MORE CHATTING, EH?

One of these days I will escalate this thing to my boss and see what he will do, considering he is one of the major chatter himself. 

If this issue remains unresolved, I guess, later I would have to escalate to Human Capital on a larger scale, for the continuity of my team.

Farewell (well... sort of)

This is my Farewell note to my colleagues in BII.
I have to say that I meant most of it, but I still have some unsaid messages which I'm dying to say but I can't.
Not if I still want to keep on working in the banking and finance industry. 

So here it comes... again.. I meant (almost) every word of it.

Dear bosses, colleagues and friends,

It’s been a little over 6 years since I walked into the doors of Lantai 21 Plaza BII.

Time flies and we are now occupying a very nice office at Lantai 20 Sentral Senayan 3.

Have I mentioned that the place is very nice?

I have been given an opportunity to expand my career and take on a new challenge.

I am excited yet a little galau all at the same time.

However, I think my 6 years BII experience has given me enough additional ammo to face a new task in the ever challenging world of Risk Management.

My role in BII Ops. Risk has given me the luxury to come across some remarkable people, both work-wise and friend-wise.

Thanks to:

1.    The entire Risk Management Team for the workmanship and friendships.

2.    The colleagues in Home Loan Group, IT Group, Card Business Group, Operations Group, Regional Jawa Barat, Jawa Timur and Thamrin for putting up with me

3.    The ORM Team of BII Finance and WOM Finance for the cooperation.

4.    Maybank ORM Team for the knowledge sharing and fruitful discussions.

5.    BII Runners - see you at the upcoming KOTR

Special thanks to the 3 generations of Operational Risk Management team which has taught me so many valuable learning experiences, and in some I find the truest friends – lucky me.

I am now getting ready for a new adventure in an old fishing boat to a Mexican beach with Andy Dufresne (naaah, just kidding - I Wish).

Oh and…. EID MUBARAK for those who celebrate, my most sincere apology for the errors.

HAPPY HOLIDAY FOR ALL and see you around.

Warmest regards

Virna Medina

Why We Run

We run because we have to - in my case I have to (official assignment back in 2010)

We run because some of you don’t think we can.

We run to go fast, and we run to go far.

We run for fun when no one’s around.

We run to clear our mind - try for yourself if you don't believe.

We run because we’re crazy - every one kept on saying we can't. WE CAN!

We run because we’re happy.

We run because now we know what it feels to nod at another runner. We understand them, and they, us.

We run to lose weight.

We run to keep it off.

We run to eat creamy cakes and ice creams.

We run to eat lontong cap gomeh.

We run when others won’t.

We run and sometimes we hate it.

But we run and we always love the feeling.

We run up hills and we run through puddles.

We run because it’s poetic.

We run because it’s bad ass.

We run while people sleep and we run because it helps us sleep.

We run because once we have that medal (in my case the finisher medal), you can’t take it away.

We run.

And we run together. We run far. Next year: Half Marathon is my aim.

I WILL RUN HALF MARATHON IN 2013

10 Things I Like About Ramadhan

Currently on a semi-sleeping mode... so most likely will be 5 things instead of 10...hahaha

1. I got tired easily, meaning I took off to sleep much-much earlier... I looooove sleeping but sometimes having trouble when in stress like so many other working women.

2. I love the peacefulness (helloooo.... Allah bind all the devils and satans). Even in a very amazingly wicked traffic jam I get to enjoy the contemplation during those jammed traffic.

Now... my eyes feel sooo heavy

3. I get to eat a lot at night (which I enjoy very much, compared to other months).

4. I really-really enjoy praying during ramadhan, hopefully will increase my faith after-wards... Insya Allah.

5. All the buka bersama things, suddenly everyone is arranging another event with friends, family, colleagues, etc... I like the silaturrahim during Ramadhan.

6. Now.... I can picture my bed in my mind...looking so delicious.... ahh.....I'm coming dear bed..... zzzzzzz

What Are Your Guilty Pleasures?

I am now inside my room, browsing the internet and blogging...... wearing a very loose batik daster/caftan (it's like a caftan made of batik) while listening to Britney Spears' Toxic and other songs on my guilty pleasures play list.

Sooo..... what is a guilty pleasure anyway? How do you define that? I found myself having a hard time putting it into words, so I turned to yet another guilty pleasure: the internet. Dictionary.com and Wikipedia came up blank on the concept. Google didn't acknowledge it as a whole concept (define: guilty; define: pleasure).

So, I just have to come up with my own definitions:
1. Guilty pleasures are things that I like but having a hard time admitting to anyone.
2. Guilty pleasures are songs that I listen to (i.e. Britney, NKOTB) but sure as hell wouldn't wear their t-shirt in public.
3. Guilty pleasures are things that I enjoy doing although I know it's baaaaaad for me.
4. Guilty pleasures are things that I enjoy but ashamed to admit.
5. Etc.

Hah!! Talking about music taste, this is really not my taste (for most of the times). But I have to say I secretly enjoy listen to these songs when I'm feeling kinda crappy. What are the others? Well... to name a few: The right stuff by NKOTB (^_^), Material Girl by Madonna and Boyzone's No Matter What.

Daster/Caftan
And I'm not yet getting into the daster/caftan part. It's really really a comfy piece of clothes, as I can eat whatever I want while wearing it.


Food
Ok, so I don't have a hard time admitting that I like oily and very spicy belacan fried rice (with sunny side egg) and cakes, but I have a hard time feeling good after finishing a big plate of fried rice and later a thick slice of choco fudge cake, accompanied by mocha ice blend, with extra whipped cream. Peanuts, chocolate and ice creams are my weaknesses. I enjoy life a tad too much sometimes.

Music & Film
The likes of Britney and NKOTB for sure. Also a little Air Supply and The Bee Gees (shock right?). I also have a whole box set of Jane Austen Romance Movies. My favorite is Pride & Prejudice.

I have six versions of Pride & Prejudice Movies:
1. 1940 BW version starring Greer Garson and Lawrence Olivier (my fave version).

2. 1980 AE version (downloaded from the internet)

3. 1995 BBC version starring Colin Firth (my least fave - bought the box set in Lahore, Pakistan in 2004). I think Jennifer Ehle is too cynical and serious, kinda ruin the Lizzie character.

4. 2003 Indian version starring Aishwarya Rai

5. 2003 modern version (downloaded)
6. 2005 version starring Keira Knightley and Matt McFadyen (I have to say he's my favorite Mr. Darcy, he gave me mixed emotions: anger, annoyance, excitement, compassion and love)

Apart from movies, Grey's Anatomy and Vampire Diaries are my current TV obsession. Heroes used to be one, but the show become so ugly it's no longer a guilty pleasure, more like a public annoyance, like Sinetron.

Books
I like historical romance novels.... yeah. Jane Austen's I enjoy, but not exactly embarrassed to admit. I like the cheesy ones. There. I said it. This is one of 'em.

Crushed: Blackest Version of Medina

Have you ever seen the face of betrayal?

Have you ever seen the face of a betrayed person?

Have you ever feel betrayed? Badly betrayed.

Have you ever feel everyone's been doing whatever they like without Virna Medina in mind? Like Virna Medina is invisible. Like Virna Medina is just this device or tool they're using to fulfill their needs.

Well I have now, to all of the above.

http://www.parallellinesmn.com/photos/erica/Betrayal.jpg

Feels like I’m hitting rock bottom where I find no one to trust, no one to rely on but me, trying to hang on to whatever left of me.

Desperation is not my style, but I can't help feeling like it when betrayed.

This hatred inside me is so strong.

This urge to kill and destroy whatever I laid eyes on.

No more Ms. Nice Girl, clearly Ms. Nice Girl it's not working.

http://divyanovel.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/anger2-747499.jpg

God help me, I need to apply drastic measure now.

Somebody Has To Say This ......

First of all, it is not cool to ask your friends for a cup of coffee and then completely ignoring them by keeping busy with your crack-berry.

Second of all, it is the exact opposite of cool for you to blame your sub ordinate in public, especially if your boss is among them. Why? You do the math.

3. New Moon is a lot more annoying than its predecessor, no matter how thick Edward Cullen's foundation is and even more if it is waterproof.

4. It is not OK to lie publicly, I can see your nose keeps getting longer and longer.

5. Sinetron is really, REALLY getting on my nerves... what's with all the drama and intrigue? The world is crazy already, no need to make it more complicated with impossible storyline.

6. What's with all the prejudice about coffee? Coffee is the best damn thing that happen to us (workers) each morning, without it, most of us would be sleeping and yawning instead of working.

Seventh of all, there is this tendencies of younger people committing suicide? Come on, we're not that desperate right? Just punch someone, drink gallons of coffee or eat lots and lots of carbs... but suicide? It's a major NO!! Just (DON'T) do it.

8. Sometimes we use the phrase: It's nothing personal. So what if I wanna make it personal? What's wrong with being personal?

9. It is totally uncool for you to form your opinion on someone you've just met. I get the "first impression" thingy, but come on... you've known someone like 6 months and then suddenly BAM! You're the best judge of character? Get your own life managed before start criticizing others.

10. It is totally annoying, not to mention uncool and make you look insecure, when asking why we're not married yet. Are you trying to make yourself look better by belittling others? come on, you can do better than that. If you can't come up with a brilliant conversation topic, just SHUT UP!

Lastly, IT IS TOTALLY COOL AND OKAY TO BE A BITCH (SOMETIMES).

Oh ... and Happy Hijriah New Year .. now that I've spilled all my beans...

Patching Code: #02112009

Me. Humanoid, beta version. Need an update. Need to be patched.

Nature send a certain code, a certain strain of update.

Finally. Patching will lead to perfection.
Finally... a hint of pain surface.



Hate it, hence it's inevitable.
Helpless but not hopeless.

Patching will lead to perfection.
Enter.

Humanoid, Beta Version

Here I am, staring at this blank page.

Mindless, I am not.

Not knowing what to write, when I've got so much to tell.

Not knowing what to share, when so much had happened.

Not knowing what to hear, when so many sounds are played.

Not knowing how to tell, when so many words are ready to be spoken.

Not knowing how to act, when I'm playing so many parts.

Not knowing how to see, when I visualize them oh so vividly it hurts.

Mindless, I am not.

Just being myself, my old self, my human self, my limited self, my weak self... with both hands in my head.

Me. Humanoid, beta version. Need an update. Need to be patched.

Mr. Negative

Have you ever met someone that is sooooooooo....negative, you just want to get him/her to eat a bowl of the cruelest and freshest wasabi or jalapeno pepper (minus the sushi or the taco)?

Have you ever met someone who has never said (not once) positive remark on others?

The negativity is so real and so obvious, you were wondering who hurt this person, always very angry at the world.

Then again...you secretly imagine you could actually hurt this person, for real!

Eminem...(looking good) the loud and foul mouthed rapper, who actually make a living out of being Mr. Negative. I was wondering if this person idolizes Eminem.

How do you handle this kind of person?

Being with this person frequently (sometimes on a daily basis), how do you keep yourself from punching him/her in the face and still hopes that you maintain your own positivity and sanity?

Hard and never ending work my friends....

Life is Like Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Last week it seemed like I was being pulled in 13 different directions when all I really wanted to do was go to the cake shop and buy myself a high-fat-high-carb chocolate cake, with thick cream on top (you should try this one called Chocolate Indulgence, a definite guilty pleasure).


It was Friday night and I was hanging out with some friends at our usual place, an ice cream parlour, and as the spoon touch my lips, I felt my mind racing and write a mental post-it notes: I have to go to the gym, my aunt's birthday, go to a tahlil at a relative's house, write a blog post (which I am doing right now), go out with friends, take my family for our usual lunch weekend, clean my bookshelves, bla-bla-bla.

Aren't you tired of planning everything ahead? I know I do.

Is not planning everything makes me a sloppy Jane? Does that make me less of a person?
Control is good, for certain things, like your work. But the rest of it... you just need to let it loose sometimes.

I know I need it.

It's like eating Bertie Botts every flavour beans, you'll never know what you might get (you Harry Potter fan should be familiar with this).



I like getting the good flavours like chocolate and toffee. But how am I gonna sort which ones are the good ones unless I've experienced the icky ones? Not trying to get all weird and geeky here, but life is like that. Sometimes you get to experienced the delicious ones, but you can't avoid the crappier side like incidentally getting the vomit or rotten egg flavor.



It is the wonderful world of not knowing. It sucks! I love it! Don't you?

2009 is Here to Stay for a Year

Check out My Slides on SlideShare

2009 is Here to Stay for a Year

View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: attitude positive)

How to Spot a Drama King/Queen?

You know this person. He always seem to make mountains out of a pile of grass. She always manages to be stressed by small events.

Interacting with this person is very exhausting, you often mumble or comment something like:
"I wish he wasn't such a drama king" or "there she goes again...sweating over small stuff"

Or probably you ARE the one receiving such comments from your friends and family? :)


How to tell if someone or YOURSELF is a drama king or queen?

1. This person can't seem to control her emotion. Always make a big deal out of everything.

2. Every words coming from his mouth is all about him, he thinks he's all that! All that he ever talks about is himself, being the coolest person on earth.

3. This human species always panicking all the time and the next morning seem to having a permanent memory loss of the previous day incident of having burden everyone with his problem.

4. A self-consumed man who likes to stir up drama. For instance: he might like to cause cat fights between two women for the pleasure derived from seeing two women fight over him.
Now, here's the difference between Drama King and Drama Queen: A Drama Queen overreacts over anything. A Drama King enjoys drawing these traits out in those around him. Especially if it can draw more attention to himself. In other words: a self obsessed SOB. The girls are screaming at each other! And Look at the drama king. He is just eating this up.

5. He or She is an attention whore, narcissist, self-centered and self-absorbed person (in today words: banci tampil).

6. Always complaining on everything! I mean EVERYTHING is always the worst to him/her. This is the worst day EVER. This is the worst coffee EVER. This is the crappiest movie EVER.

7. He thinks his life is on a crisis proportion, way bigger that the Palestinian. Puhleez!!! Get over yourself.

Hey Drama King/Queen, you are toxic to me, to us..and you know what....the complaint department is closed!

You dramatic narcissist weirdo! :p