You Can Call Her Queen Bee

Eat or be eaten seem to fit in almost every aspect of our life. Friendship certainly cant avoid this. Girls, hell.. women competing to be the most influential (at least in small groups) is channeling Gossip Girl.

The Queen Bee throne is getting more and more attractive to some. There's always Blair Waldorf and Serena. But there's also a Georgina Sparks and the out of place Jenny Humphrey. It's hard to decide who is the bitchiest of all.

Perhaps we should all take a good look in the mirror.

Daily Talk Show at The Office

As target gets higher we tend to achieve higher. That is what expected of us, workers that are trying to make ends meet and companies that are thriving for growth. Thank goodness I am blessed with a hardworking - and sometimes when needed - a smart-working team. 

What we don't expect (and cannot stand) are office chatters. Sure, we all love to chat, a little gossip wouldn't hurt also. I sometimes chat with my team, just to relieve tension off work for about 5 minutes. The key is to prevent a work atmosphere that's unpleasant or oppressed. I consider chatting with my team as a morale builder. We usually chat around 10 am, near lunch break and near the end of office hour. Each usually lasted no longer than 10 minutes. 

Around the office, we usually chat after spending many hours sitting in our chairs, WORKING. But lately, the office chatters is just too noisy to bare. 

These chatter have a specific pattern. 

Arrived late at the office. 

Turn on the computer. 

Check their email for about 5 minutes while waiting for their confidante to arrive. 

Chat for about 2 hours and then supposedly "working".

Chat all the way through lunch time. 

Lunch. 

Chat some more till 2.30 pm. 

Say hello to the computer (working) for about 30 minutes.

Chat some more.

Go home earlier than anybody else.

Gee what a happy life they have.

My earphones are always very dependable as chatter-blocker, especially when he's in the next cube. He usually chat on the phone, not too loud actually. But very often his team would come to his desk, working together using his computer, or just to have a chat (surprise-surprise).These chatters always work together, i mean ALL THE TIME.  My team, we can't afford to work on all assignment TOGETHER. Plus, getting my team to complete my work in my computer would be like... WELL.... LIKE I HAVEN'T GOT THE SKILL NOR KNOWLEDGE TO DO MY JOB.  Aside from the noise thing, I mean: REALLY?

Okay, back to the noise thing. The chatter usually clutter next to my desk at my chatter coworker workstation. They can spend at least 4 hours daily sitting, talking and laughing next to my desk. I've had it up to here (my head) with them. I mean: FUCK-OFF.

The day I left my earphones at home is the day I curse and usually ends in me buying another pair of earphones. I now officially own 4 earphones, thank you. But how long can my ear tolerate loud volume, I'm not sure. So I initiate in escalating this to the boss without mentioning any name, wouldn't wanna be recognize as the office tattle-tale. As a result there was a rearrangement of office layout, my team move in with me and he moves out with his team (the other chatters). Now they can live chattily ever after.

My most major homework is my team, keeping their spirit up. Not giving them a chance to question our line of work. We have a lot in hand tasks, that are seem to expand more and more each day. While the chatter can refer to working as: we are very relaxed in our work here compared to our previous employee. Gee that's good. MORE CHATTING, EH?

One of these days I will escalate this thing to my boss and see what he will do, considering he is one of the major chatter himself. 

If this issue remains unresolved, I guess, later I would have to escalate to Human Capital on a larger scale, for the continuity of my team.

Farewell (well... sort of)

This is my Farewell note to my colleagues in BII.
I have to say that I meant most of it, but I still have some unsaid messages which I'm dying to say but I can't.
Not if I still want to keep on working in the banking and finance industry. 

So here it comes... again.. I meant (almost) every word of it.

Dear bosses, colleagues and friends,

It’s been a little over 6 years since I walked into the doors of Lantai 21 Plaza BII.

Time flies and we are now occupying a very nice office at Lantai 20 Sentral Senayan 3.

Have I mentioned that the place is very nice?

I have been given an opportunity to expand my career and take on a new challenge.

I am excited yet a little galau all at the same time.

However, I think my 6 years BII experience has given me enough additional ammo to face a new task in the ever challenging world of Risk Management.

My role in BII Ops. Risk has given me the luxury to come across some remarkable people, both work-wise and friend-wise.

Thanks to:

1.    The entire Risk Management Team for the workmanship and friendships.

2.    The colleagues in Home Loan Group, IT Group, Card Business Group, Operations Group, Regional Jawa Barat, Jawa Timur and Thamrin for putting up with me

3.    The ORM Team of BII Finance and WOM Finance for the cooperation.

4.    Maybank ORM Team for the knowledge sharing and fruitful discussions.

5.    BII Runners - see you at the upcoming KOTR

Special thanks to the 3 generations of Operational Risk Management team which has taught me so many valuable learning experiences, and in some I find the truest friends – lucky me.

I am now getting ready for a new adventure in an old fishing boat to a Mexican beach with Andy Dufresne (naaah, just kidding - I Wish).

Oh and…. EID MUBARAK for those who celebrate, my most sincere apology for the errors.

HAPPY HOLIDAY FOR ALL and see you around.

Warmest regards

Virna Medina

Why We Run

We run because we have to - in my case I have to (official assignment back in 2010)

We run because some of you don’t think we can.

We run to go fast, and we run to go far.

We run for fun when no one’s around.

We run to clear our mind - try for yourself if you don't believe.

We run because we’re crazy - every one kept on saying we can't. WE CAN!

We run because we’re happy.

We run because now we know what it feels to nod at another runner. We understand them, and they, us.

We run to lose weight.

We run to keep it off.

We run to eat creamy cakes and ice creams.

We run to eat lontong cap gomeh.

We run when others won’t.

We run and sometimes we hate it.

But we run and we always love the feeling.

We run up hills and we run through puddles.

We run because it’s poetic.

We run because it’s bad ass.

We run while people sleep and we run because it helps us sleep.

We run because once we have that medal (in my case the finisher medal), you can’t take it away.

We run.

And we run together. We run far. Next year: Half Marathon is my aim.

I WILL RUN HALF MARATHON IN 2013

From Knee To You

Dear Medina

This is your knee. No, the one on the right. 

Idiot. 

Weren’t expecting to hear from me, were you? You thought maybe you could just coast through life doing whatever you want with me without having to worry about my feelings. And I’m not talking about EMOTIONAL feelings. I don’t even know what those are. I’m a knee. I thought I made that clear. I’m talking about PHYSICAL feelings like soreness, swelling, aching, throbbing, burning….starting to sound familiar? The kinds of feelings that you seem to think a couple of Advil and an ice pack can make go away forever. 

Wrong! 

Idiot. 

Look, I don’t mind you using me. I love it when we go running together. I’m literally BUILT for that. And to be fair, we’ve had some good times together. Like the 41:21 in that 10K race in May. That was a good time. And the 41:05 we posted in April. That was even better. But in case you lost count, allow me to remind you that you’ve limped into the doctor’s office 10 TIMES this year, and there’s a reason for that: You and I are in an abusive relationship. 

There, I said it. Boy, that felt good- to finally get it out in the open like that! A real weight off my shoulders. Yes, I realize that I don’t ACTUALLY have shoulders. Don’t be a smart-a*rse. That was a metaphor. 

Let’s get realistic: I’m not what I used to be. And that means YOU’RE not what you used to be. So quit trying so hard to be what you used to be! 


It started with that arthroscopic surgery 20 years ago. What a blast that was! Did I forget to thank you for that? BECAUSE I SHOULD REALLY HAVE THANKED YOU FOR THAT. (Yes, knees know what sarcasm is) We had to sit on our a*rse for months after that, and then you basically bailed on the physical therapy – bad idea. Just because you saw a cheap little plastic model of me in the waiting room that day doesn’t mean you KNOW me. I’m very complex! And I deserve to be treated right. But you thought I could just return to work without the proper recovery. 

Wrong! Again! 

Idiot! 

So 10 years go by and I literally carry your sorry a*rse along until finally I can’t take it anymore and I “fail”. That’s what the doctor said: “Your knee failed.” I failed?!?! Like YOU had nothing to do with it?!?! I don’t care how many degrees that guy had on his wall, he got that diagnosis backward. All that cartilage you took out of me in the first operation; all that muscle you lost around me and never bothered getting back; the fact that one of my favorite and most supportive ligaments was now nothing more than a piece of some dead guy’s butt muscle! Oh, but I failed! 

So you had me “reconstructed” and put me right back to work, and 10 years later…Mr. Right Hip started to complain. To quote Gomer Pyle, “Surr-PRISE, Surr-PRISE!!!” 

“Why?” you asked the next doctor. Allow me. It’s because you didn’t take care of ME! And I had to ask Mr. Right Hip for too much help, and after a while he was like, “Hey, what the hell is going on here?” and decided to “fail” you, too. Something about a “torn labrum”. 


So, now what? Replace us? You really think you can just REPLACE us? Well…okay, I guess maybe you can. But it wouldn’t be the same! You would miss us. You’d see. 

So I’ll tell you what you do…idiot. (Okay, sorry about that last “idiot”. Lots of hard feelings here.) First of all, QUIT being an idiot and start doing EXACTLY what that parade of physical therapists has been telling you to do. And KEEP doing it until I and Mr. Right Hip say it’s okay for you to start using us again like we’re all still 23 years old. We are NOT 23 years old anymore - - but we’re also not done yet. So do your bridges and your clams and your wall-sits, because I REALLY want to get back out there and show those 23-year-olds exactly what we’re still capable of. Brats. 

Sincerely, 

Your Right Knee 


Source: Runner's World Mar 2012
I did change the name at the beginning, to get that sense of ownership. I'll also staple this to my fridge as a constant reminder.

There's Nothing Like a Reunion (part 2 out of 2)

What would make me attend this reunion?

There's only one thing that could get me to go to my high school reunion, and it's an ideal that can never be achieved. My initial thoughts were that before I could go, I would need to reach a level of success that would be absolutely devastating to everyone there I hated. But what would that be? Money? A successful career? A sparkling husband? Fame? It would have to be something objectively awesome. Like JK Rowling awesome. Or Sri Mulyani awesome. Or, I’d have to be Angelina Jolie for showing up with Brad Pitt after won an Oscar awesome.

Actually, there are plenty of people I went to old high school with that I have nothing against. Even a bunch I liked. If I were to meet them in an elevator or at a business meeting or hanging out on a park bench, I'd be perfectly happy to catch up. But that's just not incentive enough. 

So really, apologies to all the perfectly lovely people of XX High School, but you're not incentive enough to sit through exposure to the people I never want to see again. 

So in the end, after chatting with some high school friends that I’m still in touched with, I decided to attend the damn thing. Sure it's not all bad. And sure, the downsides were there. However I’m glad I attended the reunion as I get to meet some people that are really nice (by nice, I don’t mean in your face nice but also in your back nice). Well, these friends are worth attending a reunion for. See you next month for the next gathering (even if the gathering will likely involve less than 5 people). I always think it doesn't matter how many friends you have, it’s how many you keep that matters. And, be sure to keep only the ones you can trust.

Want to know what happen to the girl that the bitches bullied to? 

Continuing about these girls from high school, they actually ended up behaving as they were. That's to be expected. The same thing happen. They're still bitching about this lady, who's done no wrong to them. I felt sorry for them, as this girl ended up with a respectable life. She's a high school teacher and married to some doctor. Way to go girl! That my friend, is what I'd say "sweet revenge". Eat that you two face conniving bitches!

There's Nothing Like a Reunion (part 1 out of 2)

The other day I received a Facebook invitation that gave me pause. My boyfriend watched me open it, and sensed something he'd not seen on his girlfriend's face before. Not anger. Or sadness.

"What is that, hon?" He asked.

"An invitation to my high school class reunion get together in a breakfasting event of Ramadhan." I made this choking sound that he'd probably hadn't or never seen before. 

"Are you going?"

"Good lord, I hope I don't have to."

"Why not?

"Well, baby, I can think of at least dozens of reasons off the top of my head"

For some people, high school is the best thing that have ever happened to them. Their days were filled with the so called friends that they truly enjoyed. People who shared their "values" and "sense of humor".

By humor I mean putting others down to make themselves look good. Saying one thing when they actually meant another opposite. Praising this particular girl when they actually bitch about her all year long. Telling bad things about her to others (including me). Well... you know what? I don't want that kind of friend. I'd rather befriended the girl they're bitching about. She's actually done nothing wrong to these girls. Being part of this group I actually felt bad and in no time I decided that I want no part of it.

These high school characters are actually never stay in touch after high school. Enter Facebook. Thanks to Facebook these people that I am particularly fine without are sooo back in my life. Well... great job Facebook. Thanks to you now I have these "wonderful" people back in my life. Thanks to you I have to answer to lots of unwanted friend requests. BF (Before Facebook), I have absolutely no contact with any of them and I'm like totally OK with that. Now I have somewhat like hundreds of unwanted friends (which is impolite for me to reject, since I actually knew them before). I believe some of them referred to me as "arrogant bitch" and yet manage to maintain sweet and friendly face expression when face to face. 

How Lovely!

Next: should I or shouldn't I?

After 3 Years, I Decide to Write "about me"

I’m a pretty complicated person, don’t try to understand me. Chances are you’ll be completely wrong. There are so many things that make me who I am, and some you’ll never understand.

Don’t judge me based on what you read or see, you’ll probably end up completely wrong. I’m not going to say I’m different from anyone else you’ll ever meet, because honestly, I’m not.

My music player is my best friend. In terms of music, I’m the weirdest lady you’ll ever meet, plain and simple. I’m me, and that’s something no one else can ever be. I enjoy Belle & Sebastian. On the other side I love Kanye West and his larger than life ego. Male ego tend to attracts me so much more than inferior feeling. 

If we don’t know each other I’ll be extremely shy, but if we’re close there’s a chance you’ll want to sew my mouth shut.

For someone my age, I’ve been through a lot. I believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and learned from them.

I’m single, and it doesn’t bother me. I’m not looking for that perfect prince charming. I want something, someone real. Even though I’m single, it doesn’t give you the right to flirt with me. Have some respect, yeah?

When it comes to my own problems, I’m very pessimistic. But towards other people's struggles, I’m the most optimistic person in the world.

I have a split personality. I live half my life like I’m seven, and the other half like I’m fifty-seven.

I enjoy raining season, except for my allergy to cold weather.

I am what I am and I don’t care what anyone thinks, if you have a problem with me, then that is your problem.

I feel like I never get enough sleep, and I’m almost always tired.

I love my Samsung Galaxy S and hate (but secretly like my crackberry), and I think that makes me a little bit hypocrite, don't you think? ;)

I stand up for what I believe in, even if it means standing alone.

I’m shy yet outgoing, loud yet quiet. An angel, yet a devil. I’m a walking contradiction.

I hate improper spelling and grammar, I don’t know why but I find it extremely annoying.

I don’t take compliments well, I’m insanely self conscious and I never really believe them when they’re said to me. I tend to be cautious of a very sweet compliment. Afraid that the sweetness will give me diabetes.

In the end, I’m just another person on this planet who’s bound to be forgotten.

You think you’d know me pretty well after reading my "about me", but in all honesty: I’ve barely scratched the surface of ‘about me.’ If you don’t like what you read then sweet, I really couldn’t care less. I really am a nice person in the end, so talk to me. I won’t bite.

Life, take it or leave it, is a bitch. It’s not fair and it never will be.

I guess this is just another lost cause, Mr. Paine

I love that line... it was from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. It was a line said by Jeff Smith near the end of the movie, closed with Smith being fainted in the courtroom, defending on that he believes.

Saw it  for the first time 2 years ago. Ever since that moment, (the late) James Stewart (absolutely no relation to K-Stew by the way) has been my all time most favorite actor.

If by any chance you're into political movies, I RECOMMEND you to see it. Mentioned the movie in my previous post http://virnamedina.blogspot.com/2009/10/what-is-most-inspiring-or-impressive.html. 

Well, how many of us stick to something the way Smith does?

The movie was about a naive and idealistic Jefferson Smith, is appointed on a lark by the spineless governor of his state. He is reunited with the state's senior senator--presidential hopeful and childhood hero, Senator Joseph Paine. In Washington, however, Smith discovers many of the shortcomings of the political process as his earnest goal of a national boys' camp leads to a conflict with the state political boss, Jim Taylor. Taylor first tries to corrupt Smith and then later attempts to destroy Smith through a scandal.

self note: 
All you people don't know about lost causes. Mr. Paine does. He said once they were the only causes worth fighting for. And he fought for them once, for the only reason any man ever fights for them; because of just one plain simple rule: 'Love thy neighbor.'... And you know that you fight for the lost causes harder than for any other. Yes, you even die for them.

What Are Your Guilty Pleasures?

I am now inside my room, browsing the internet and blogging...... wearing a very loose batik daster/caftan (it's like a caftan made of batik) while listening to Britney Spears' Toxic and other songs on my guilty pleasures play list.

Sooo..... what is a guilty pleasure anyway? How do you define that? I found myself having a hard time putting it into words, so I turned to yet another guilty pleasure: the internet. Dictionary.com and Wikipedia came up blank on the concept. Google didn't acknowledge it as a whole concept (define: guilty; define: pleasure).

So, I just have to come up with my own definitions:
1. Guilty pleasures are things that I like but having a hard time admitting to anyone.
2. Guilty pleasures are songs that I listen to (i.e. Britney, NKOTB) but sure as hell wouldn't wear their t-shirt in public.
3. Guilty pleasures are things that I enjoy doing although I know it's baaaaaad for me.
4. Guilty pleasures are things that I enjoy but ashamed to admit.
5. Etc.

Hah!! Talking about music taste, this is really not my taste (for most of the times). But I have to say I secretly enjoy listen to these songs when I'm feeling kinda crappy. What are the others? Well... to name a few: The right stuff by NKOTB (^_^), Material Girl by Madonna and Boyzone's No Matter What.

Daster/Caftan
And I'm not yet getting into the daster/caftan part. It's really really a comfy piece of clothes, as I can eat whatever I want while wearing it.


Food
Ok, so I don't have a hard time admitting that I like oily and very spicy belacan fried rice (with sunny side egg) and cakes, but I have a hard time feeling good after finishing a big plate of fried rice and later a thick slice of choco fudge cake, accompanied by mocha ice blend, with extra whipped cream. Peanuts, chocolate and ice creams are my weaknesses. I enjoy life a tad too much sometimes.

Music & Film
The likes of Britney and NKOTB for sure. Also a little Air Supply and The Bee Gees (shock right?). I also have a whole box set of Jane Austen Romance Movies. My favorite is Pride & Prejudice.

I have six versions of Pride & Prejudice Movies:
1. 1940 BW version starring Greer Garson and Lawrence Olivier (my fave version).

2. 1980 AE version (downloaded from the internet)

3. 1995 BBC version starring Colin Firth (my least fave - bought the box set in Lahore, Pakistan in 2004). I think Jennifer Ehle is too cynical and serious, kinda ruin the Lizzie character.

4. 2003 Indian version starring Aishwarya Rai

5. 2003 modern version (downloaded)
6. 2005 version starring Keira Knightley and Matt McFadyen (I have to say he's my favorite Mr. Darcy, he gave me mixed emotions: anger, annoyance, excitement, compassion and love)

Apart from movies, Grey's Anatomy and Vampire Diaries are my current TV obsession. Heroes used to be one, but the show become so ugly it's no longer a guilty pleasure, more like a public annoyance, like Sinetron.

Books
I like historical romance novels.... yeah. Jane Austen's I enjoy, but not exactly embarrassed to admit. I like the cheesy ones. There. I said it. This is one of 'em.

Crushed: Blackest Version of Medina

Have you ever seen the face of betrayal?

Have you ever seen the face of a betrayed person?

Have you ever feel betrayed? Badly betrayed.

Have you ever feel everyone's been doing whatever they like without Virna Medina in mind? Like Virna Medina is invisible. Like Virna Medina is just this device or tool they're using to fulfill their needs.

Well I have now, to all of the above.

http://www.parallellinesmn.com/photos/erica/Betrayal.jpg

Feels like I’m hitting rock bottom where I find no one to trust, no one to rely on but me, trying to hang on to whatever left of me.

Desperation is not my style, but I can't help feeling like it when betrayed.

This hatred inside me is so strong.

This urge to kill and destroy whatever I laid eyes on.

No more Ms. Nice Girl, clearly Ms. Nice Girl it's not working.

http://divyanovel.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/anger2-747499.jpg

God help me, I need to apply drastic measure now.

Somebody Has To Say This ......

First of all, it is not cool to ask your friends for a cup of coffee and then completely ignoring them by keeping busy with your crack-berry.

Second of all, it is the exact opposite of cool for you to blame your sub ordinate in public, especially if your boss is among them. Why? You do the math.

3. New Moon is a lot more annoying than its predecessor, no matter how thick Edward Cullen's foundation is and even more if it is waterproof.

4. It is not OK to lie publicly, I can see your nose keeps getting longer and longer.

5. Sinetron is really, REALLY getting on my nerves... what's with all the drama and intrigue? The world is crazy already, no need to make it more complicated with impossible storyline.

6. What's with all the prejudice about coffee? Coffee is the best damn thing that happen to us (workers) each morning, without it, most of us would be sleeping and yawning instead of working.

Seventh of all, there is this tendencies of younger people committing suicide? Come on, we're not that desperate right? Just punch someone, drink gallons of coffee or eat lots and lots of carbs... but suicide? It's a major NO!! Just (DON'T) do it.

8. Sometimes we use the phrase: It's nothing personal. So what if I wanna make it personal? What's wrong with being personal?

9. It is totally uncool for you to form your opinion on someone you've just met. I get the "first impression" thingy, but come on... you've known someone like 6 months and then suddenly BAM! You're the best judge of character? Get your own life managed before start criticizing others.

10. It is totally annoying, not to mention uncool and make you look insecure, when asking why we're not married yet. Are you trying to make yourself look better by belittling others? come on, you can do better than that. If you can't come up with a brilliant conversation topic, just SHUT UP!

Lastly, IT IS TOTALLY COOL AND OKAY TO BE A BITCH (SOMETIMES).

Oh ... and Happy Hijriah New Year .. now that I've spilled all my beans...

Temptation of Moto Droid

I change my cellphone every 3 years... not to catch up with technology, just a common cycle that I go through .... hmmm what's the difference?

Anyway... My current phone (P1i) is still highly appreciated and highly usable with so many features that keeps me from buying the "crackberry (CB)".


Don't have the interest in buying one, even if each one of my friends keep on asking the very same question: "what's your CB PIN?"

Crackberry Addict

I don't think I would replace my P1i anytime soon, buuuuut.... if i ever need to replace it in the near future, I would pick the new Moto Droid/Milestone. Why not iPhone? Why not Crackberry?

A small Crackberry Group

iPhone is very tempting, CB however is not nearly as tempting as my current gadget (seriously, it became too mainstream that I've lose interest in buying one).

iPhone really IS a piece of art.

Let's see this picture perfect phone (although many said it's not as good as iPhone, but analysts mentioned they would recommend this gadget to the users who are not interested in iPhone. Sounds good to me. The Milestone does have certain downside like its camera, but until now it is the best Android based phone in the market.


Here is a comparison between iPhone and Milestone.

http://www.mobilecrunch.com/2009/10/30/smartphone-showdown-iphone-3gs-vs-motorola-droid/