Crazy Bitch is Talking

Our life can end like this (snapping finger).

If God sees things that way.

Let's remind ourselves: we are still young, in our thirties, thus we still have like at least 30 more years to breathe? Who can tell that I will be able to reach average age? Who can tell that I will reach even to my forties? Even tomorrow?

Are we really that close to God to know these things? To know when our end is coming. This body has an expiry date somewhere. Where's that tag? You think God will ever let you find that tag?

Like food, expiry date comes without a warning. It's not like: it's 3 days to D-Day and we can taste the food coming to a waste. Totally not like that. It's like the food still taste good on D-Day, if we're willing to take that risk.

Okay, I'm slipping away right here. A little disoriented perhaps.

My point is: death comes without a warning. It's not like Izrail is gonna send you an email notification 3 days prior to your death.

If death comes without a warning, then how come I feel my time will come soon?

There's Nothing Like a Reunion (part 2 out of 2)

What would make me attend this reunion?

There's only one thing that could get me to go to my high school reunion, and it's an ideal that can never be achieved. My initial thoughts were that before I could go, I would need to reach a level of success that would be absolutely devastating to everyone there I hated. But what would that be? Money? A successful career? A sparkling husband? Fame? It would have to be something objectively awesome. Like JK Rowling awesome. Or Sri Mulyani awesome. Or, I’d have to be Angelina Jolie for showing up with Brad Pitt after won an Oscar awesome.

Actually, there are plenty of people I went to old high school with that I have nothing against. Even a bunch I liked. If I were to meet them in an elevator or at a business meeting or hanging out on a park bench, I'd be perfectly happy to catch up. But that's just not incentive enough. 

So really, apologies to all the perfectly lovely people of XX High School, but you're not incentive enough to sit through exposure to the people I never want to see again. 

So in the end, after chatting with some high school friends that I’m still in touched with, I decided to attend the damn thing. Sure it's not all bad. And sure, the downsides were there. However I’m glad I attended the reunion as I get to meet some people that are really nice (by nice, I don’t mean in your face nice but also in your back nice). Well, these friends are worth attending a reunion for. See you next month for the next gathering (even if the gathering will likely involve less than 5 people). I always think it doesn't matter how many friends you have, it’s how many you keep that matters. And, be sure to keep only the ones you can trust.

Want to know what happen to the girl that the bitches bullied to? 

Continuing about these girls from high school, they actually ended up behaving as they were. That's to be expected. The same thing happen. They're still bitching about this lady, who's done no wrong to them. I felt sorry for them, as this girl ended up with a respectable life. She's a high school teacher and married to some doctor. Way to go girl! That my friend, is what I'd say "sweet revenge". Eat that you two face conniving bitches!

There's Nothing Like a Reunion (part 1 out of 2)

The other day I received a Facebook invitation that gave me pause. My boyfriend watched me open it, and sensed something he'd not seen on his girlfriend's face before. Not anger. Or sadness.

"What is that, hon?" He asked.

"An invitation to my high school class reunion get together in a breakfasting event of Ramadhan." I made this choking sound that he'd probably hadn't or never seen before. 

"Are you going?"

"Good lord, I hope I don't have to."

"Why not?

"Well, baby, I can think of at least dozens of reasons off the top of my head"

For some people, high school is the best thing that have ever happened to them. Their days were filled with the so called friends that they truly enjoyed. People who shared their "values" and "sense of humor".

By humor I mean putting others down to make themselves look good. Saying one thing when they actually meant another opposite. Praising this particular girl when they actually bitch about her all year long. Telling bad things about her to others (including me). Well... you know what? I don't want that kind of friend. I'd rather befriended the girl they're bitching about. She's actually done nothing wrong to these girls. Being part of this group I actually felt bad and in no time I decided that I want no part of it.

These high school characters are actually never stay in touch after high school. Enter Facebook. Thanks to Facebook these people that I am particularly fine without are sooo back in my life. Well... great job Facebook. Thanks to you now I have these "wonderful" people back in my life. Thanks to you I have to answer to lots of unwanted friend requests. BF (Before Facebook), I have absolutely no contact with any of them and I'm like totally OK with that. Now I have somewhat like hundreds of unwanted friends (which is impolite for me to reject, since I actually knew them before). I believe some of them referred to me as "arrogant bitch" and yet manage to maintain sweet and friendly face expression when face to face. 

How Lovely!

Next: should I or shouldn't I?

Things People Say (or DON'T SAY) During Awkward Situation

Awkward Situation One
One friend @ work has this tremendously smelly body odor, so some of us took the liberty of putting a deodorant in a plastic bag on his table. The man reacted in the most shocking way: "whose is this?" asking his colleagues while holding the plastic bag. All of us looked at each other rather puzzled not knowing what to say. The guy called the office boy and handed over the deodorant to him. He whispered to one of us while pointing at this innocent guy at the corner: "that guy is smelly, I think he needs that deodorant badly."

Awkward Situation Two
I was talking to an acquaintance during a dinner with my coworkers.  The conversation suddenly bumps into a crossroads and no one knows where or how to spice it.  The silence has extended past the 10-second mark and the awkwardness is increasing exponentially. Worst of all, I was the last person to speak, so everyone thinks the awkwardness is my fault. 

Awkward Situation Three

Your friends have been trying to set you up with this supposedly charming guy and you are totally aware that you are in to him but will never admit in a million years that you've got the hots for him. Ever. The next day you and your friends were on a way to the nearest restaurant and bumps into the guy. He smiled from a far and you totally lost your grip and trip over your flat shoes (seriously). The guy smiled worriedly and came over saying: "kok bisa jatuh sih?" 

Awkward Situation Four

You are in a department store, really really liked this particular bag. You're trying to see whether the price fit your budget. Nope. No price tag. You're looking around to spot the shop assistant. Aha! Must be the plain Jane in the plain white shirt. You look her in the eyes and show her the bag. "Mba, can you help me with this?" The Plain Jane looked furious and answered: "How should I know? I'm also a customer"

Who's Your Favorite Screen Legend?

Lately I've been seeing lots of classical movies. I mean classical, black and white movies from Hollywood's Golden Era (1930s-1950s).

Garland and Temple

Growing up, I used to hear my mum's admiration towards Elizabeth Taylor and Monty Clift. So now that I have enough knowledge and resources (internet connection that is), I've done my share of admiration too. I watched some popular classical movies during my childhood (I enjoyed Shirley Temple and Judy Garland Movies). They always had a certain quality that brings me to smile and always been able to cheer me up. 

 Judy Garland

 Shirley Temple

The first classical movie that I purchased was Breakfast at Tiffany’s. As a fashion lover, I've heard a lot about Audrey Hepburn and thought that I'd like to see Breakfast at Tiffany's. I was lucky they have it on DVD here. So I purchase the DVD along with Jane Russel and MM's Gentleman Prefer Blondes. Can't say that I enjoyed both movies. Holly Golightly (Hepburn's character) doesn't impress me all that much. She's too artificial. Okay, probably she's a lonely lady, but I think she's a bit shallow. I searched for Audrey's other movies and kinda liked My Fair Lady and Roman Holiday. But I can't say that she's my favorite. 

Pride and Prejudice

Then I accidentally found Pride and Prejudice starring Greer Garson and Sir Lawrence Olivier. I have a certain niche for Jane Austen’s movies and I think this version of Pride and Prejudice was the best of all (even though the movie made Lady Catherine de Bourgh looked like a Saint). I actually liked Lady Catharine – which was portrayed in such a comical manner. The movie was so funny and witty, I completely got under the spell of the classical cult. Greer Garson and Olivier’s portrayal of Elizabeth & Darcy is by far the best of all version of P and P. So I started searching for Garson’s films, sadly I can only found Mrs. Minniver, which I think is great and Garson’s performance was outstanding. 

The Leading Ladies

Shirley Temple was my next target. She was soooo cute back then. I also adore Eleanor Parker, Ava Gardner, Sophia Loren, Olivia DeHavilland and Maureen O’Hara. I think they’re the most beautiful stars of the Golden Era. But no one beats Kate Hepburn. I find her very distinguish. She had a strong character that went all the way through her movies and the role she played.

 Eleanor Parker

 Ava Gardner

Greer Garson

 

Kate Hepburn

The Leading Men

After that it was Rock Hudson, the one actor my mother frequently mentioned, other than Monty Clift. And boy.... Hudson was one hot male. I mean, really, really hot. Who would've thought that he was gay. He was so perfect and had on screen chemistry with Doris Day, it's creepy.

Of course I stumble into Cary Grant and adore his debonair style and acting deeply. I liked Houseboat (with Sophia Loren), Philadelphia Story - PS - (with Jimmy Stewart and Kate Hepburn) and Holiday (with Kate Hepburn). I really think they have one of the strongest chemistry in the History of Hollywood.

Next, I've heard that You've Got Mail was a remake of an old movie. Turns out it was a really really old movie: The Shop Around The Corner. Starring Margaret Sullavan and Jimmy Stewart. I really really really liked the movie. Much better than the remake version and I completely adore Jimmy. Especially after I saw Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, directed by Frank Capra. I love the following scene so much. 

Capraesque Addiction

And from there, I started looking for Jimmy's Movies: It’s a Wonderful Life (IWL) and Philadelphia Story (PS). All Mr. Smith, IWL and PS were directed by Capra and without a doubt got addicted to Capraesque (Wikipedia has its own page for this term). Capra’s films usually carry a definite message about the basic goodness of human nature and show the value of unselfishness and hard work. His wholesome, feel-good themes have led some to term his style Capra-corn, but those who hold his vision in high regard prefer the term Capraesque. Nobody does movies like Capra did then. Dead Poets Society and Forrest Gump are very few examples of movies that I think probably pay a tribute to Frank Capra. Hail Capra!

Coop!

My admiration (and addiction) to Capra got me in very deep in Old Hollywood Era. After finding Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (Gary Cooper and Jean Arthur), I didn’t watch it until almost a year! After I watched it, I couldn’t take the movie (and Gary Cooper) off my mind. Gosh! I love that movie so much. I’m deeply, madly in love with Capra and Cooper! Modern Hollywood tried to remade the movie (remember the silly and awkwardly stupid Mr. Deeds starring Adam Sandler?). Mr. Deeds was a complete insult to both Capra and Cooper.

On my watch list (ready in the hard drive of my laptop) are the following Coop’s movies:

 

Coop won the Academy Award for Best Actor for his portrayal of Alvin York, the pacifist turned war hero in 'Sergeant York' in 1941. Such was Coop's fame and stature at that time the real life Alvin York had refused to authorize any movie about him unless he was portrayed by Gary Cooper. He won his second Academy Award for Best Actor and great critical acclaim for his controlled, understated portrayal of the embattled marshal facing his enemies, and his destiny, alone. Saw both movies and thought that Coop was way better and more believable as a cowboy than John Wayne. Coop was that everyday guy we can all relate to. 

In the end, the magic of Hollywood was created and peaked in the Golden Era. Dozens of major stars were born. I am so grateful that I came across these movies. Don’t know why but I got really tired of Modern Movies and found I enjoy TV Series more than the movies. But still, TV series are no comparison to Silver Screen movies, so I wander around and got lost in the Hollywood Golden Era and found myself not wanting to go back to the present time. I found my entertainment in Capra, Cooper, Stewart, Hepburn, Gardner, Grant, Loren and Garson.  

My last words of this post:

Brad Pitt stripping naked or fully clothed Gary Cooper eating an apple... ? Oh gosh almighty, the second one please!

After 3 Years, I Decide to Write "about me"

I’m a pretty complicated person, don’t try to understand me. Chances are you’ll be completely wrong. There are so many things that make me who I am, and some you’ll never understand.

Don’t judge me based on what you read or see, you’ll probably end up completely wrong. I’m not going to say I’m different from anyone else you’ll ever meet, because honestly, I’m not.

My music player is my best friend. In terms of music, I’m the weirdest lady you’ll ever meet, plain and simple. I’m me, and that’s something no one else can ever be. I enjoy Belle & Sebastian. On the other side I love Kanye West and his larger than life ego. Male ego tend to attracts me so much more than inferior feeling. 

If we don’t know each other I’ll be extremely shy, but if we’re close there’s a chance you’ll want to sew my mouth shut.

For someone my age, I’ve been through a lot. I believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and learned from them.

I’m single, and it doesn’t bother me. I’m not looking for that perfect prince charming. I want something, someone real. Even though I’m single, it doesn’t give you the right to flirt with me. Have some respect, yeah?

When it comes to my own problems, I’m very pessimistic. But towards other people's struggles, I’m the most optimistic person in the world.

I have a split personality. I live half my life like I’m seven, and the other half like I’m fifty-seven.

I enjoy raining season, except for my allergy to cold weather.

I am what I am and I don’t care what anyone thinks, if you have a problem with me, then that is your problem.

I feel like I never get enough sleep, and I’m almost always tired.

I love my Samsung Galaxy S and hate (but secretly like my crackberry), and I think that makes me a little bit hypocrite, don't you think? ;)

I stand up for what I believe in, even if it means standing alone.

I’m shy yet outgoing, loud yet quiet. An angel, yet a devil. I’m a walking contradiction.

I hate improper spelling and grammar, I don’t know why but I find it extremely annoying.

I don’t take compliments well, I’m insanely self conscious and I never really believe them when they’re said to me. I tend to be cautious of a very sweet compliment. Afraid that the sweetness will give me diabetes.

In the end, I’m just another person on this planet who’s bound to be forgotten.

You think you’d know me pretty well after reading my "about me", but in all honesty: I’ve barely scratched the surface of ‘about me.’ If you don’t like what you read then sweet, I really couldn’t care less. I really am a nice person in the end, so talk to me. I won’t bite.

Life, take it or leave it, is a bitch. It’s not fair and it never will be.